Just a few days ago, TJ developed a new fear – the common house fly. Now, I admit that I don’t particularly like flies. I don’t really like when they land on my or hover around my food, but I don’t freak out or anything. TJ does.
It all started when we were at the McDonald’s Play Place with two grandmas, a great-grandma, and a 3-year-old friend named Abby. A fly was buzzing around the table, and TJ started to fuss. But then it landed on his cheek… and TJ had a complete meltdown. All of his muscles tensed and he was shaking. I tried to console him by stroking his hair and letting him lean over to hug me. It wasn’t enough. I had to take him out of the high chair and let him cling to me for quite some time before he settled down. He kept his hand covering his face.
He also wouldn’t go back in the high chair, apparently terrified that the fly would come back and attack him. He ate the rest of his chicken on the run. I dislike when kids run around with their food in the Play Place, but he stationed himself at the window to make himself a Drive Thru greeter, so at least he wasn’t climbing on the germ-infested play equipment while he ate.
But it got worse.
Later that night, TJ spotted a fly that was buzzing around our living room, just before dinnertime. He got so upset, tense and shaking, and clung to me as if his life depended on it. He kept one splayed hand covering his face as he burrowed into my chest. This lasted for at least 15 minutes. Every time I tried to ease him away from me, he just clawed at me and held me tighter. He was actually hurting me when he grabbed at my shirt and got handfuls of skin from my sides, where there is little fat to act as a cushion.
I had to hold TJ at arm’s length while Tom peeled him off me and strapped him into his highchair for dinner. He wouldn’t eat. He kept crying, “Mommy, ‘ommy, ‘ommy!” So I had to take him out of his chair and hold him. Again, he tried to hold on so tightly that it hurt. Tom ate as quickly as he could, then pried TJ off of me so he could play the role of comforter while I ate.
When I was finished eating, we decided to get TJ out of the house. We went to Target and bought, among other things, a flyswatter. We stayed out over an hour, so we’d be getting TJ home just in time to go to bed. It was on the way home that we realized he still hadn’t eaten any dinner. We stopped at the Drive Thru to get him some chicken nuggets. He was finally back to normal, yelling, “Chicken! ‘icken! ‘icken!” Of course, the chicken was very hot when we got it, so I tried to cool it off before giving it to him. He was very happy to start chowing down on his chicken.
Of course, once we got him back home and into his high chair to finish his chicken, the fly reappeared. Once again stricken with terror, he got freed from his seat and burrowed against my chest. He managed a sad, “‘Icken?” Tom handed him a piece of chicken, which he ate with his face in my chest and his other hand over his face. I hated the fact that he was so upset… he hearing him chewing the chicken in that position was absolutely hilarious.
I called the pediatrician today. The nurse who called me back had consulted two different doctors before returning my phone call. She started out the conversation with, “I wish I had better news…” But I knew what she was going to say before she called me back. There’s nothing we can do but comfort him when he gets upset, and wait for him to outgrow it.
It’s not necessarily normal for him to have this intense fear, but it’s not unusual, either. Kids his age can have these phobias – of bugs, spiders, and other creepy crawly things. But the fear will pass, in time, and likely shift to something else. Hopefully it will be something less prevalent than house flies next time.
Tags: afraid, crying, phobias, toddlers
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
my son is also starting to show an irrational fear to flies, for some reason he will insist on calling them spiders, whish he isn’t frightened of. It’s all very strange.
I’m 12 and OMg i hate hate HATE flies.
Somedays i won’t even go out of the house cause there are flies EVERYWHERE. If the’yre in my room and it doesn’t go quickly i can cry for AGES. Daddy-long-legs and Moths are also a problem.
People say i’m confident and outgoing but in P.E last week i started HYPERVENTILATING because of two little-ish flies going round my head. I missed catching 3 balls in rounders because i was so scared.
I know flies can’t hurt me and they don’t scare me unless they’re ACTUALLY there; but i hate this fear and really want it to dissapear…
PLease will someone just tell me what the fear of flies is called?
Thankyou, and good-luck.
From holly xx
Hi guys,
My daughter, Destiny, is 3 years old and is absolutely TERRIFIED of flies. It popped up suddenly one day when my fiance and i were out walking and she was in the stroller when one landed on her knee. She threw her water bottle and started sreaming and shaking and NOTHING would calm her down. She curled up into a little ball and wouldnt move, let alone look out to see if the fly was hanging around. We had to take her home. Again, one was in the house not long ago, flying lazily around the middle of the room, and i called her for lunch. She wouldnt come so i went to find her and she was curled up on her favourite couch…saying ‘scary mum, fly is so scary’ then hiding again. I had to carry her into the kitchen and try to hunt down that fly. poor little mites. My 1 and 1/2 year, Kaidence, doesnt mind them though. Strange.
Glad my little one isnt the only one with an unusual fear. Thanks guys. Kirsten.
Hey,
I’m 18 and currently with a phobia of flies, (which I believe to be called Pteronarcophobia). My phobia started when I was about 2 years old thanks to my brother say that a swarm of flies in the back garden were going to get me. When I was about 8 years old my fear seemed to start going away, however, a year or so later a wasp landed on me, now I had never been scared of wasps as I had always been taught to stay still when one was flying near me, but having this wasp land on me reminded me of the reason why I had been scared of flies in the first place, they were a potential health hazard. Since then my phobia has only gotten worse to the point where any flying insect I used to like, i.e. ladybirds scare me.
But having been scared of them for so long I have developed my own way of dealing with my phobia. I just hope that everyone is able to grow out of theirs’ or find ways of dealing with it
I couldn’t help but find this post, and I can honestly feel much emapthy for your child.
I didn’t have a fear of fies, exactly, but the fly swatter. Thus, I developed an “irrational fear” of flies.
No, it wasn’t the flies i was afraid of…it was the fly swatter! I HATED the sound of it, and I remember once, I saw what happened to fly after it was hit with one…it wasn’t dead, it’s legs still twitching…I was horrified, and nearly vomited.
Ever since, if i saw a fly, I would try not to look at it (which is VERY hard for a naturalist like me!) and would freak out if anyone else saw it.
So, indirectly, I do, and can sense his fear. Though, this might not a true “phobia”. This sounds more like the sight of the bug moving around in a swift motion, tirggered the response of adrenaline, thus, instilling him with the “fight or flight” response, so when it touched him, he accosiated that with a predator, and learned to think of it as a true attacker and threat to his life.
Zoe, your fear isn’t a tue phobia, as it was caused by a traumatic event. This is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) thus, isn’t an irrational fear, so, it would not qualify as a true phobia.
Bekki, it could be your son is experiencing a connection between spiders and flies. Perhaps, his young brainwasn’t quite capable of distinguishing between spiders and flies. Either way, it sounds like it’s hard for him to deal with.
I will hope for all of you, and pray for you as well, and hope your fears, or the fears of your children will cease. It’s horrible living with it, and I can sympathize with all of you.
As for advice I can give you helping him to cope and cure the fear, sometimes, comfort, cuddling, hugging and positive praise in’t enough to cure a fear, and i know this from much, and several various accounts of personal experiences! I used to suffer from irrational fears (truely irrational, that is) and some not so irrational, but what it really came down to was my diet, and something in, or better said, lacking in my diet!
I would like to contact you (via email) to explain more about how to cure him of his fears for good. Fear like his, something that could occur at any place, any time of day, can, and IS very dangerous to her health, as fear like this can over stimulate the production of enpinephrine (other wise known as adrenaline), leading to adrenal fatigue, something you wouldn’t need for your child, in any way!
The info I am hoping to give to you it’s quite technical, and would take up a LOOOOOT of space on this page! So, if you could please give me an email, I would kindly take much heart to it, and would love to bring more joy and help into curing him of his frightful, fight-or-flight fly filled fear.
You can contact me at septipig@hotmail.com, as this is the email adress i use the most often. I would gladly like to help him in overcoming his fear.
Hi
I’m 18 years old and I just got attacked by two flies that came into my house while my dad was cleaning the windows. I stumbled upon this website because I wanted to see if there was such a thing as a fear of flies, or if I was the only one. At first the flies came into the dining room so I ran upstairs and locked myself in the bathroom. To my horror I ended up locking myself up with one of those nasty things and I screamed at the top of my lungs and ran to my room. As I backed away from my bedroom door trying to calm myself, I realized that tears were starting to build up in my eyes. It was then that I knew there was something more than just a normal dislike of flies. I’m still shaking as I’m typing this, but it feels good to know that other people share my fear.
Oh my god, I’m 12 and I’m really scared of flies. I got bit by a horsefly when I was smaller, and ever since, I’ve been scared. Then, today, my friend Jamie brought a fly that was still alive to school. She said is was a house fly, and I was like ‘OMG THAT THING IS HUGE!!’ Because it was NOT house fly. Nor was it a horsefly. I’m telling you, it was BIG. Whenever I would see it, I would shiver and get really cold all of the sudden and I wouldn’t stop shaking until it was out of sight.
hello my 2 year old daughter has suddenly developed a far of flies, one landed on her today and she threw away her icecream and screamed, and now everytime there is a fly she screams and breaks down… is there anything that will help?? i dont want her scared of them because they are an everyday thing